The Best Strapless Bra (so far)

If you have tig bitties like me, great bras are both essential, and hard to find. Here were my experiences as of a few months ago before I found my amazing bra from FigLeaves:

-Cotton Bandeau bra: makes your boobs look like a fat guy in a hammock, which as it happens, is just as appropriate with as side of Keystone Light as this look. Let the butterfly clips rain upon you.

-Victoria's Secret "Push up" (emphasis mine, for sarcasm) Bra: I like to give credit where credit is due, and I have to say that VS was of the more fashionable bras to get the proper skin tone pallet down. And that's where the credit ends. My criticisms of VS are threefold:

1. Vanity Sizing: Victoria's Secret notoriously sizes women up about 1 full cup size. And while it's great to hear that I would probably be a "DDD/E" at VS, I'm actually only a DD on a good day. So I take umbrage with the fact that a) you made up a fake sizing system wherein I can't find any bras without help from the shoulder-padded Black Blazer Brigade and b) I, a normal person, now register off your charts...what?
2. Improper fit: My biggest pet peeve, baby-butt cleavage. The phrase is "Lift and Separate", not "Rocket-to-your-throat and Smush". It's way less catchy.
3. Lack of Support: The strapless bras don't stay up! Like at all!! I might as well just go bra-less or carry them around myself like two eggs on a plate! Might I also add that the straps on the strapped bras stretch and wear out in a hot second.

-Any place with scratchy bras and places where you can't read customer reviews. Reviews are my life, and so essential to buying anything. I mean, why spend time figuring out something is awesome or sucks on your own when there are thousands of boring people who apparently have time to write paragraphs about it first!

The Solution: figleaves.com

I recently bought the Wonderbra, in nude, and as of right now, it's the most supportive I've tried. It comes in all basic colors (throughout the site), and is comparably priced to any turd of a thing you'll find at Victoria's Secret.

More about Figleaves: It's a British website, which in fashion terms, always means "I will do whatever you say. I am a knuckle-dragging Bostonian. Teach me your ways". They have every size imaginable, so if you don't know what size you are, buy a bunch and find out, and return the rest. They always have great, supportive swimwear as well. If you sign up for emails, they'll let you know when they give 15-20% off or Free Shipping, which they do pretty frequently!